Fish Puns – 100+ Witty And Funny Ones To Share

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Whale hello fellow fish lover! We’re taking a quick break from our usual informative content to lighten things up and put a smile on your dial. That’s right, this post is all about having fun.

If some of the writing in this post seems a little fishy, well, gill-ty as charged! I’ve surfed the net to find the world’s best fish puns and fish jokes, no clickbait, promise!

Let the fun begin!

Fish Puns

Let’s get started with a hilarious list of fish puns that you can use with your fish-keeping friends. We’ve got a carp-load of puns for you (carp is a fish, duh!).

Let me take this oppor-tuna-ty to warn you though, that some of these puns are a little fishy. The fun doesn’t stop there though, if you make it through this list of clever fish puns, there are a ton more funny fish jokes to enjoy.

Get ready for some funny fish puns!

  • They say you can tune a bass but you can’t tuna-fish
  • This pun seems a bit fishy, doesn’t it?
  • We are really on fin ice with this fish pun
  • Oh, I’m just squidding around!
  • Would you let minnow what you think of this pun?
  • Got any jokes? You betta believe it!
  • O-fish-al puns only
  • He’s not a baiting man
  • For heaven’s hake
  • This cod be the best fish pun of all!
  • My gill-friend says these puns are terrible
  • That fish was found gill-ty of spreading fish-ious rumors
  • You could say his behavior was a-trout-cious
  • She wouldn’t be cod dead participating in any-fin so fishy in a krill-ion years
  • Walleye don’t know what all the fuss is about
  • It’s not the time or the plaice for fishy jokes
  • Sharkasm is the lowest form of wit
  • He never takes responsibility, it’s always salmon else’s fault
  • Hmm, this guppy is a little fishy
  • Quick, salmon call a doctor!
  • Don’t use a loan shark, borrow from the river bank
  • Slobsters are the laziest fish
  • What a pain in the bass
  • Use a strong filter in all your tanks to avoid turtle disaster
  • Carp-e-Diem is an easy fish pun
  • Don’t be so shellfish, share these puns with your friends
  • Cod you hand me that net? Tanks a gillion!
  • The starfish is the most famous sea creature
  • The codfather is the top fish boss and the most notorious of the lobsters
  • Shy fish are always so koi
  • Fish DJs drop the bass
  • This is a great oppor-tuna-ty to learn new jokes
  • Clownfish are my arch-Nemo-sis
  • Always do your stretches so you don’t pull a mussel
  • Any reef keeper worth their salt knows that
  • I’m reeferring to saltwater fish-keepers
  • Did you know? Most fish occurs between the head and the tail
  • He did it just for the halibut!
  • Depressed fish should sea kelp immediately
  • You don’t need to be a brain sturgeon to get these fishy jokes
  • These fish jokes are very punny!
  • It’s getting whaley whaley bad now
  • There’s something a bit fishy about this seafood restaurant
  • Did you hear about the guy who ate bad sushi? He got salmonella
  • All these fishy jokes are giving me a haddock
  • Take your time, mullet over, and get back to me
  • The sea is my sole provider
  • Most fish like their food a little worm
  • Amateur tetras always get schooled
  • Most bottom feeders dropped out of school
  • Fish scales weigh the most
  • Hair algae is a real pain in the wrasse
  • With friends like these, who needs anemones?
  • So-fish-ticated guppies always wear suits and ties
  • Swordfishes also dress sharply
  • Elephant fish wear trunks
  • Let’s get trout of here!
  • Sit your wrasse down
  • Fish-keeping is so much fin!
  • Dear cod, not another fish pun
  • This pun is a clamity
  • I can’t take any moray of these eely bad puns
  • Parasites are rid-ich-ulous
  • These puns are really krilling me
  • Caviar is the most roe-mantic food
  • Starfishes only come out at night
  • He has more tanks than the military
  • Oh no the puns are fin-ished

Holy mackerel that was a lot of fish puns! Alright, it’s time to scale back on all these fish puns and move on to some-fin a little different. In this next section, we’ll be laying down the ultimate list of fish jokes that incorporate fish puns. Stay tuna’d for the ultimate list of fish jokes to split your gills!

Fish Jokes

If you think that was too many fish puns, we’re only just getting started! Sure, some of those fish puns were below sea level, but these fin-tastic fish-pun-filled jokes are sure to get you smiling!

Let’s get Kraken!

  • How do you make an octopus laugh?

Give it ten-tickles!

  • What is the funniest fish?

The clownfish

  • What do bored fish do? They watch tele-fish-ion
  • What’s a guppy’s favorite TV show? Tuna half men
  • What’s a kid guppy’s favorite show? They prefer cartunas
  • Who is a fish’s favorite action hero? Pond, James Pond
  • Why didn’t the oyster twins share these jokes? They were too shellfish to share

Fish Health Jokes

All good aquarists take pride in keeping their fish happy and healthy. Let’s take a look at the light side of the hobby with these funny fish jokes.

  • What should you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh has no ‘I’s
  • What do you call a short-sighted fish? A fish-ually impaired fish
  • What do you call a fish that’s hard of hearing? Herring-impaired fish don’t hear so well
  • What do you call a fish without its herring aid? Anything you want, it can’t hear you
  • How do you take care of a fish with a cold? Give sick fish worm soup and vitamin sea
  • What do you do with a sick fish? Take sick fish to the weterinarian
  • What do you do with a really sick fish? You call a clambulance with your shell phone
  • Where do you take a shark with a head injury? Straight to a brain sturgeon
  • Where do you take a pirana with bad teeth? The orca-dontist
  • Why did the snail faint? It was shell-shocked
  • How do fish stay in shape? They have their own scales
  • Which fish have 9 lives? Catfish have nine lives

Fish And The Law

It’s o-fish-all, these are the best fishy law jokes on the net!

  • What should a fish do to avoid getting caught? Keep its mouth shut
  • What do police do with criminal shrimp? Law-breaking shrimp are taken down to the crust-station for questioning
  • What do fish judges do? Fish judges balance the scales of justice
  • What’s the difference between a lawyer and a pleco? A lawyer is a scum-sucking scavenger and a pleco is just a fish
  • Who was the most dangerous fish in the sea? Jack the kipper was the most feared fish in all the sea
  • Why do octopuses make the best soldiers? They’re heavily armed (Especially in tanks)

Schooling Fish

Are you hooked on fish puns? Fish can be smarter than they look. Polyp a chair, because these jokes are all about fish education. You’re about to be schooled!

  • Why do Fish swim in schools? Fish swim in schools because they can’t walk
  • Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools, of course!
  • What kind of fish is not smart? The dumb bass is not a very smart fish
  • Why did the teenage fish get bad grades? He was on his shell-phone all day long
  • What did his teacher do? She decided to con-fish-scate it and send him to the offish
  • Have you heard about the illiterate fisherman? He got lost at C

Everyday Fish Life

Whale whale whale, I sea you’re still with us! It’s fun to think about fish as if they were people, isn’t it? This next collection of fishy jokes is sure to make you laugh out loud, so keep clam and read on.

  • How do fish get to work? They ride a motor pike
  • How do fish make their cars go faster? They turbot-charge them!
  • How do fish get to school? Young fish take the octo-bus to school
  • Which fish work in balloon factories? Blowfish always get the job
  • What do cowboys of the sea ride? Sea cowboys scallop around on seahorses. Yee-ha!
  • What’s a fish’s favorite music? Drum and bass is a fish’s favorite music
  • Where do tired fish sleep? Tired fish sleep on the seabed
  • How do you call a fish? The best way to get in touch with a fish is to drop it a line with your shell phone
  • How do you get hold of a fish after office hours? Ask someone to hand it to you
  • What did the hopeful fish say to his girlfriend? He asked: ‘Your plaice or mine?’
  • What’s a fish’s favorite instrument? The bass drum is a fish’s favorite musical instrument
  • What kind of fish can you find in apartments? Flatfish live in apartments
  • Where do Brazillian fish wash their fins? Brazillian fish wash their fins in the Amazon river basin
  • Why do reef fish live in saltwater? They would live in pepper water but it makes them sneeze
  • How do you age a goldfish? Take away its ‘G’

Fish and Money

Holy carp, the only thing more shocking than those jokes is an electric eel. But wait, there’s more. Check out these fishy jokes about fish and money!

  • Which fish has the highest price tag? The goldfish is the most expensive fish in the world
  • What’s the second most expensive fish in the world? Silver dollars
  • What is the third most expensive fish in the world? The bronze cory
  • What is printed in the middle of a fish dollar bill? ‘In cod we trust’
  • Where do fish go to get their loans? Fish get loans from the river bank
  • Where do ladyfish keep their money? Ladyfish keep their money in an octo-purse
  • Where do male fish keep their money? Male fish keep their cash in a walleye-t
  • Why did the fisherman close his business? Unfortunately, the unlucky fisherman made a net loss
  • Why did the shark drop out of college? The shark dropped out because he just couldn’t mako it
  • Where do fish sell their stuff? Fish sell their used goods down at the prawn shop

Fish Food Jokes

We all know fish need a healthy balanced diet. But do you know what your fish’s favorite food is? Let’s hear what the fish say!

  • What’s a fish’s favorite sandwich? Fish love peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches
  • What do fish eat on the weekends? They get together with their pals for barbeque gills
  • What does moby dick eat? Moby dick ate fish and ships!
  • What do fish eat on their birthdays? Fish eat fishcakes on their birthdays
  • What do you tell a fish on its birthday? Happy birthday, best fishes, and many more
  • Why did the fishy chef make tons of fish eye soup? The chef made tons of fish eye soup because he thought it would see him through the winter
  • Why don’t they serve guppies at seafood restaurants? Seafood restaurants have much bigger fish to fry
  • So this gasping fish walks into a bar…Barman: What can I get you?Fish: Water! I need water!
  • Which fish drink the most? Beer-acudas are always getting drunk and rowdy
  • Which day do fish fear the most? Fryday is the most dangerous day for fish

Best Of The Rest

Wow, these fish jokes are really Kraken me up! Here are a bunch more funny fish jokes that you can share with your friends.

  • Which fish never stop talking? Big-mouthed bass never shut up
  • Where do starfish live? Starfish live way out in trouter-space
  • What is the smelliest fish in the ocean? The stink ray is the worst smelling fish in the sea
  • What did the fish say when his friend swam into a wall? Dam!
  • Which fish pray the most? Monkfish and holy mackerel pray the most
  • Which fish live in heaven? Angelfish live in heaven
  • What’s a fish’s favorite hymn? I once was lobster, but now I’m flounder
  • Why did the fish blush? It was in a bare-bottom aquarium
  • What do fish magicians say? Pick a cod, any cod
  • What comes after a goldfish? A silverfish comes after a goldfish

Knock knock Jokes

Ah, the good old knock-knock joke. Here are three hilarious fish knock-knock jokes that you can share!

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

A fish

A fish who?

Bless you dear

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Fish tank

Fish tank who?

You’re welcome

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Artie fish

Artie fish who?

Artie fish-al intelligence

Final Thoughts

Whale, that’s all folks. I hope you enjoyed this funny fish post. Remember, don’t be shellfish, share the fun with your friends and family. Tanks for stopping by and be sure to tuna in next time for more great fishy content! Follow us on YouTube if you like our content. We will be expanding this year!

Do you have your own fish puns? Let minnow in the comments below!

by Mark

Mark is the founder of Aquarium Store Depot. He started in the aquarium hobby at the age of 11 and along the way worked at local fish stores. He has kept freshwater tanks, ponds, and reef tanks for over 25 years. His site was created to share his knowledge and unique teaching style on a larger scale. He has worked on making aquarium and pond keeping approachable. Mark has been featured in two books about aquarium keeping - both best sellers on Amazon. Each year, he continues to help his readers and clients with knowledge, professional builds, and troubleshooting.

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